Open Letter to college k self proclaimed 'sabse bade bakchods'

Dear bakchods,
I have been humbled and deeply honored by all d unsolicited attention coming my way by way of Ur thought-provoking comments littered with the best of the ideas within the realms of the human creativity. Its amazing that in spite of such an infinite capacity to bullshit some of u guys continue to linger in the uninspiring milieu of gazipur n chittupur
where I have been told that people still attend to call of nature in open. Maybe it’s the breeze caressing Ur asses that has made Ur sense of humor to my posts a breath of fresh foul fart.
on my part I tried to keep the count of comments as low as possible for fear of hurting the idiotic concept of hierarchy of my esteemed 'legend Rider'(refer Comment no 55). He is still quagmired in some childhood fanciful maudlin mindset of 'tera pencilbox mickeymouse wala,mera kyon nahi'.even now I
expect an equally (if not more) lengthy repartee of his with
conditioning of generous dose of Urdu n 'sale', BKL, MKL and other spicy swear words for special flavor..shoot when u like..

another one is my newly bald n extremely beautiful friend who never ceases to amaze me with his lameass jingles n harebrained monikers. Listening to his Reshamiyaeque voice was a connoisseur delight and I still recall his symphony with a crazy desperation whenever I am fraught with constipation...

and the newest entry to this aesthetically challenged club is that of long forgotten loony duplicate of Akshay Kumar who offlate has been troubling me n rest of d peace loving populace of FB with his romance with Maoist propoganda.how i wish i cud have deported him to Dantewada to let his fellow Maoist roast his balls after castrating and feed it back to rest of the two ‘backchods’...

interestingly, a common thread that binds these dimwit best friends of mine is their uncanny ability to proclaim n unanimously declare by shouting their lungs n liver out ki- 'mara gayi- mara gayi' even when they must have cracked the most cliched sms jokes or the worst piece of Lavatory humour...retarded fools..sigh
but these are just petty foibles, people.dont get judgemental.They r my best friends and just like special children deserve special attention i shower them with my special love n care( all pun intended and deliberately exageraated ).they prance around me with their dickhead theories on my hygiene manners which i readily dismiss..why..coz i dont give a fuck..
each of these friends of mine occasionally suffer with the bouts of dementia imagining themselves as the bhojpuri avtar of Russel Petres and Jay Leno.I have been made to believe that once they went for the audition of great indian laughter challenge and even usually boisterous and jovial Navjot Singh Siddhu had to feign a gut-wrenching smile and later they were beaten black n blue at the gates of the audition chamber. Lost in lala land of theirs they had stuffed themselves like a thanksgiving turkey and i wont be long before even Churk will make a mockery of u.
get ur balls together ,get smart..
this letter wud be far from its cause if i dont make a not so flattering mention of the Thakur sir.public has a short memory but i do remember it was u who sparked the whole controversy of the innocous snake's head getting intimate in some inexplicable part of my physical existence.this seemingly harmless act of urs has created an stir unparalled in the history of social networking with Tharoor episode left lightyears behind. even Mark zukenberg is ruing the day he gave membership to idiots like us who have plunged into dangerous depths of bakar and created such low benchmarks that wont be surpassed in the foresseable future. To give the devil his due, u did try to instill some good sense in the clueless bhasad in comment no.72 by " Ladai Ladai maaf karo....ek doosre ki ta#$i saaf karo" but morons as they are ,they didnt listen to ur voice of sanity and i had to come up with a fresh appeal for truce which i am very sure will again ensue a fresh volley of venomous replies( this time in eloquent english for better effects ..he he)..
so dear 3 bakchods(plzz..any sugesstions of even the remotest refrence to 3 idiots wud be so lame..its like saying Churk is the most beautiful man i have ever seen)..u r dear to me..i love u..Seriously ,no matter what u think..i hail u for all d riches u have minted in ur personal n professional life(mind u-one of them owns a Ford Fiesta)..but as far as sense of humour is concerned ..talk to sumone u trust,ur friend, ur mom, ur GF,nyone u can confide in..get to understand where u went so horribly wrong and address the issues..a little bit of counseling never hurts..like in all kinds of cancer ,awareness helps so get aware and trust me its curable..and i know right now u must be overwhelmed with a overweening desire to thank me and kiss me and all that..so donot do that in the subsequent posts..it wud be embarassing,humble that I am..shoot a mail to me ..and i will get back..
love ..
ur truly..

PS: thanks to Shafi,Ankit ,Pankaj,Mogli,Ujju n last n the greatest Peeyush Bhaiya(kuch samghao in Chu**yon ko) for making guest appearance in this HBTI "aao behen chugali karein:season 2010"..i will get ur name high up in the rollling credits..Cheers

whither indian media..

Recent row over Lalit Modi’s tweet about ownership of Kochhi team and the subsequent headroll of Shashi Tharoor stumbled me upon several questions…one among the many being ..what wrong had the guy done to have his ministerial position shoved off so conveniently under the pretext of potent embarrassment to the government…it is the same UPA Govt which sat upon the clear case of misappropriation of public fund in auctioning of 2G spectrum by A.Raja and free run to hoarders and black marketers by Sharad Pawar..to think a large part of existing ministry hobnobs with bunch of rowdies like Lalu and Mulayam who rely of acts of sitis to dissuade women legislators to seek their rightful place in Indian Polity ,went shy at some random tweets of arguably the most suave and sensible fellow Minister is ridiculous..
Objectively speaking Tharoor could be held culprit for extracting some undue favors from lalit Modi ..Newspapers quote some bygone principal which forbids a Minister from getting into any such commercial transactions and influencing an office of profit..true..he went overboard with his negotiations for sealing a deal..yet the alacrity with which the call for his resignation has gained ground shows a deeper malaise which is eating our pillars of democracy..
What Tharoor did to Indian net-savvy masses is akin to what Rahul Gandhi is peddling to harijan vilaages in UP..Tharoor tried to demystify n uncomplicate the rigid insensitive interface that Indian Ministership maintains with contextual Masses..his Tweet on cattle class was blasphemous with regard to throes of Indian polity which has steadfastly maintained a stark contrast between talk and walk..a word of austerity in public life is as distant from practice as Osama from America..yet every Minister seemed to have fallen in line save Tharoor..common the guy has competed with Ban Ki Moon for the UN’s top job with a respectful second finish..most of people from BJP who asked for his papers couldn’t tell the difference between the role set of WHO and WTO, yet such is the sorry state of our cultural mindset that obeisance is considered a far greater virtue than cognizance.
What actually pissed off our legislators that they collectively bayed for Tharoor’s blood may range from their envy at his romance with Sunanda Pushkar( ndtiwari gracefully excluded from this jealous list) to his brilliant eloquence…(nope..Vajpayee with his enigmatic and deliberately confusing dialogues doesn’t qualify as one..at best he was a wannabe poet and retracting on his statements didn’t help either)..however equally surprising was the mellowed down reaction of traditional media to the wrongs done to Tharoor and pumped up coverage of the wrongs done by Tharoor..is Indian print and Tv media showing their veiled disdain to a politician who choose to mouth his opinions through social media thereby bypassing the hitherto custodians of tidbits of information on political dynamics. ..the much apparent media activism has went into the shell in this particular case and as the IPL transactions are traced to big bulls this newly found khotala pakado frenzy will beat a silent demise…a bartender’s murder will call for attention from all quarters but mysterious transfer of CBI Officer investigating Madhu Koda’s illegal assets will be relegated to last page..so much for the fourth estate..
Anyone attending an IT company’s pre placement process will be shown an video impressing upon you how the number of Facebook members can claim a virtual country in the league of Japan and Pakistan..in India netizens make a small minority still if we stand up for a cause or stir up a debate it may ring a notice in corridors of power..i feel these kind of played down issues are no less in importance than posting bra-color on wall post..awareness helps ..be it the body ailment or cankerous democracy..